It must feel fascinating to have a multi-faceted perspective of a piece comparable to the creator of the work itself. Is it lonely to know that, for anyone you know to sympathize with you, they'd have to be convinced to go through the trek that you went through? Would you wish that upon your greatest friend, or your worst enemy? One would likely feel inclined to avoid this notion by wishing to meet the creator out of an impulse to share sympathies. What if a facet of the piece is the creator essentially telling you that such an interaction is born out of an impulse to not feel lonely that they have regularly fought since the inception of the piece?
Frankly, this experience is symbolically comparable to being Ben Johnston writing a densely microtonal piece that is so impractical for actual performance that it would be asinine to assume that an actual quartet would spend years trying to execute it. Though he likely knew that already, he chose to be asinine. Luckily, a real string quartet chose to be comparably asinine by doing just that - within Ben's lifetime nonetheless. The Kepler Quartet, a collection of some of the most talented pluckers and bowers of string in the world, spent years getting their performances to line up exactly to the sheet's specifications at least 1% of the time. I feel it in my heart that The Kepler Quartet should become codified as a word in the English language for their accomplishment. In writing this I can tell you that you are my Kepler Quartet; and if you feel like you are just a cent off, then you can just read this again. Godspeed.
(String Quartet 10, IV)